The turkey’s been and gone, leftovers are packed into the fridge, and the dishwasher is rinsing off the last of the Thanksgiving remnants. I’m pleasantly stuffed with homemade mashed potatoes and cheesecake, and it’s finally finally time to start talking about (a few of) my favorite thing(s!): Christmas. Holiday wishlists have been swirling through the Blogosphere for the last few weeks, and I have been clinging stubbornly to the idea that Thanksgiving deserves it’s own special attention before diving headfirst into mistletoe and holly. However, with less than four weeks until Christmas morning (!!!!!!?!), it’s time to push my blogging fingers into overdrive. With a strong focus on underthings (with occasional other pretties thrown in because I said so), I hope to give you lovely readers a series of Holiday Buying Guides for everyone on your “Nice” (or Naughty 😉 ) list.
Lingerie buying guides tend to be swathed in frills, and while I love both as much as the next femme-bot, I think it’s important to recognize that not every woman wants to be wrapped in satin and eyelash lace. Seriously, if I tried to gift my lady an Agent Provocateur, she’d be both incredibly puzzled and overcome by fits of laughter. In layman’s terms, she isn’t one for girly things. Just because a woman isn’t one for glamour and fancy doesn’t mean that there aren’t suitable, sensible lingerie solutions for their tastes. This edition of Gift Guides Galore is inspired by my beautiful girlfriend and her more masculine fancies:
1. Galaxy Print Big Knickers by Knickerocker
Knickerocker is a company that I don’t have any personal experience with but who has been raved about over at Braless In Brasil and The Full Figured Chest. (Both of those ladies know their underthings, so I trust their judgement and opinions implicitly!) While browsing through Etsy’s lingerie section for possible features for this post, I stumbled upon the Knickerocker Galaxy Print Big Knickers. I consulted my lovely lady, who’s own style toes the line between masculine/tomboy and hipster/femme. Her reaction: “Those look cool.”
Hell yeah, they do! Based out of California, Knickerocker undies can be custom-made to your own measurements! They also come in a variety of fun, playful patterns and colors. I favor these galaxy print knickers for the more masculine set, because while they aren’t dappled in dots or bows, they are still cut to fit a woman’s body. The galaxy print fabric is quirky, and handled with care during manufacturing. Each piece is made by hand, and prewashed with detergent that’s ph-balanced for a woman’s most sensitive skin. (Because masculine or feminine, vaginas are vaginas and sometimes they need to be handled with care!) My opinion ain’t enough? Knickerocker has nearly 1,500 5-star reviews on Etsy. Do you think getting 1,500 people to agree on something is an easy task!?
2. Black and Red Briefs by RodeoH
Maybe your girlfriend prefers purposeful gifts. Maybe she wants less fashion and more function. Like that adorable little girl in that taco shell commercial, I say “Why not both?!”. Enter the black and red briefs by RodeOH:
(Note: Mom! Stop reading now, or the next dinner we have together is gonna be real awkward.)
I know. You’re looking at me skeptically. “Jessica, you self-serving weasle, you. This is a harness!” However, these brilliant designed knickers are not just a strap-on harness (for you lady-loving-ladies out there!), but a soft and breathable set of briefs. And while Rodeoh actually offers a pair of undies that are just undies, I kind of like the idea of being able to *ahem* “suit up” (so to speak) whenever, wherever. Available in a variety of cuts and colors (never again will you have to answer the “boxers or briefs” conundrum), RodeoH also offers it’s fashionable/functional harnesses in sizes ranging from waist sizes 23-24 to 52-55. All ladies rejoice! No need to worry if it’ll fit–it probably will. For my own lovely lady, I’m favoring this red and black version of the brief. (Though I feel like asking Santa to deliver might make for an awkward time.) Need any more convincing?
RodeoH’s advertising photos are pretty damn sexy. They love it when their fans model their product! And if Autostraddle’s interview with Jennifer Weaver is any indication, their creator is pretty friggin’ cool, too. (Added bonus!)
3. Deco Collection by Freya
It’s no secret that I am a slave to the Freya Deco collection. I nearly fell out of my bed when I found out that I had won the entire Spring/Summer 2013 collection in their Deco365 Competition, and thus I wear a different Deco practically every day of the week. So while it may seem a “funny coincidence” that I’ve included the range in my leaning-masculine gift buying guide, hear me out! Fact is, some boobs are bigger than others. Butches and the like aren’t excluded from the gift of mammary, and those boobs need proper support just like the rest of them. That’s where Deco comes into play:
Clean lines, basic colors, and seam-free, Deco offers both simplicity and support. If the bow in the center gore offends that much, simply snip it off. It is sold in both nude and black, and comes in a strapless, a half cup, a plunge, a wireless plunge, AND a strapless, so there’s a style for every occasion. The Deco size range is impressive, and definitely helpful to those of us on the larger-cup end of the size spectrum. I can speak from experience that Deco is (in my humble opinion!) the perfect go-to bra for everyday wear. Retailing for around $60 on a regular basis, I usually keep an ear to the ground and do my best to snag a deal from Amazon or Nordstrom.
4. The Runyon Racer Tank by Sloan&Tate
I first heard of Sloan and Tate when The Lingerie Lesbian posted her awesome series on Lingerie Androgyny. Her post featured some luxuriously soft-looking sleep shorts, that made me want to slip them on and lounge around until the end of eternity. So, it was natural that I take another look at the Sloan and Tate brand while
online shopping researching tirelessly for this feature. When I found the Runyon Racer Tank, I was torn. Lingerie? Not quite. But as sleepwear is an important subcategory in the Great Lingerie Divide, I couldn’t resist:
Soft and simple! Now, maybe you’re thinking “It’s just a tank top!”. Oh no, it is much more. Made in the USA from fine Supina cotton, it is milled and manufactured right in Los Angeles by independent designers, Sloan & Tate is a company that believes in luxurious, sustainable fashion. If you’re into comfy sleepwear and eco-conscious designers, check out Sloan&Tate for your honey’s stocking stuffers and more.
5. Organic Baby Rib Brief by American Apparel
Maybe your lady really likes basics. Maybe you want to pull a “Jessica’s Mom On Christmas”, and want to stuff your sweetie’s stocking with one of those three-packs of Hanes everyday panties (so practical!), but don’t really want to go down that “Target-basic” road. (C’mon, I can’t be the only one, right!?) If you’re digging the idea of basic and everyday, but want to up the ante a little bit, I would definitely recommend giving the American Apparel Organic Baby Rib Brief a second glance.
Available in what can only be adequately described as a “fuck ton” of colors, these briefs are made of breathable 100% organic cotton. They, like most of American Apparel’s products, are unisex in nature and simple in design. At 14.00, these are as much affordable as they are wearable. I can neither confirm nor deny whether or not my own girlfriend (“Ooooh, I like those!”) will be getting a few pairs from “Santa”,as she’s nosy as all hell, likes to ruin surprises, and will most likely read this as Christmas grows nearer. Think your lady will fancy a pair or two? Check out American Apparel’s selection online.
I don’t claim to be an expert on androgynous lingerie or the like. As far as I’m concerned, the more frills there are on a piece of lingerie, the better. Regardless of that, I had a blast putting together this gift guide for the less girly-girl amongst us! How about it, readers? Like my choices? Have any suggestions of your own? Sound off in the comments!