A few months back, I wrote THIS article for In The Powder Room. It was on bra-fitting, and an informative response to a previous post on the same website about breast reductions. The original writer complained of back pain, sagging, and slipping straps. To me, the red flags were waving violently in front of my face: “Your bra doesn’t fit!” If I could have shouted to her over the Internet, I would have.
The response to the original post was overwhelming: 73-ish women who claimed that they, too, had these problems and wanted to go under the knife to fix them. Red in the face, I stared at the screen for a moment or two before I launched into what would be the
novel comment that lead to my being invited to write for the website. It was a doozy of a comment, but the TL;DR version is something along the lines of “All you want for Christmas is a breast reduction, but all I want for Christmas is for you to listen to these thoroughly outlined instructions on bra fitting, because I’d bet my ass that I can help with your problems.”
Do you know how many comments my post got?
Twelve. 12. Ten-plus-two. Less than that, really, because if you subtract the responses that I left for my commenters, two comments by ITPR regular content contributors, and one thank you from a retailer that I plugged in my post, that leaves us with around 4 people who were willing to listen to reason.
FOUR PEOPLE. What that means, ladies and gentlemen, is that out of 73 complainers on one post, 69 of them would rather deal with doctors, insurance, anesthesia, hospitals, major surgery, potential loss of sensation, and six to eight grueling weeks of recovery instead of potentially doing something much less of a hassle and simply changing their bra.
From where I sit, that doesn’t make a modicum of sense. And yet if I had a dollar for every woman I’ve given sound advice to that has simply disregarded or refused to listen to me, yada yada ya, you get the drill. And it is that fact that has brought me to a new realization:
Women of America: you are a bunch of whiners!
Now, I don’t want to go lumping every woman into the same category, because that’s stereotyping, and stereotyping is bad, you hear? But I can’t help but notice, that most of the women that I’ve come across in this situation would rather complain then actually do something proactive to change their situation. What reallygets me is the fact that many people are so quick to make a decision like this without looking for more information. Without educating themselves. Despite the fact that there may be other alternatives out there, these women have tunnel vision and refuse to see any other points. The “80% of women are wearing the wrong sized bra” statistic exists for a reason. Because 80% of you ladies are either too complacent or too lazy to ask questions, to figure things out. Nope! So many women I’ve spoken to would rather just keep on with the way things are, and then groan over Cosmos with their girlfriends about how uncomfortable/awful/terrible their bras are.
I wasn’t taught what I know. I went looking for information myself. And you know why, women of America? Because I was uncomfortable. I was uncomfortable just like you are now. I was tired of all the boob-hate, and I figured that if I started looking, I’d eventually figure it all out.
It started with the lovely Georgina fromFullerFigureFullerBust. That woman is not only a knockout, but she’s a damn expert on boobs/bras/the like. Another excellent find was Cheryl and Becky from Invest In Your Chest. Brilliant ladies. (If you actually ventured to these sites and realized that they are both UK based, it’s because the UK has definitely got their shit together when it comes to boobs. Heed to their superior knowledge.)
So you know what, Women Of America? Quit it with the whining. Quit it with the instant-gratification shit, too, because if you think that you, with your 32″ rib cage and your “40DDD’s” are actually going to be reduced by some miracle surgeon to a “36D”, you are in for a rude awakening. Do some research. Do some shopping. See what you find. Maybe you’ll find out that the 40DDD you’ve been wearing is actually a 34GG. And after a few weeks/months/whatever in the right size, maybe you’ll still want to go under the knife. And that’s fine! Breast reduction surgery is a very personal choice, and one that I think requires some amount of consideration. If after all this, it’s still the right choice: I wish you a speedy recovery and the best of luck!
But if you heed my advice and change your mind about surgery? I have one thing to say to you:
I TOLD YOU SO.