Body Image, Bra Fitting

Calling Shenanigans On “Discrimination”

A story has been floating around national news outlets that tells the tale of a teenage girl, booted from prom because of the size of her breasts.

High school senior Brittany Minder’s search for her perfect prom dress took her all the way to Canada, and subsequently got her reprimanded at her school dance. Here’s a photo of the dress in question:

20130605-131218.jpgimage from Komo News

Brittany and her parents are hollering “discrimination”, stating that, while the school dress code clearly states that strapless dresses are allowed as long as cleavage and midriff are covered, the school and prom officials are unfairly targeting her because of her large bust. (I’d like to note before continuing that Brittany was not barred from the dance, just given a shawl to cover up with, and admitted alongside other students.)
Now, I can not stress how much I want to be on Brittany’s side. As a fellow busty-girl, I ever-so-desperately want to join in the chorus of outraged cries of discrimination.
But you see, I have eyes. I have two functioning eyes, and if you would go scroll up and take a gander at that photo, go on, I’ll wait…
…you will see that there is definitely cleavage on display. Copious amounts of cleavage, actually. And worse then that, it’s ill-fitting bodice cleavage. If that was her bra, I’d be admonishing her for a terrible fit, and trying to gently prod her into a properly fitting undergarment. There would be no side-boob or quad-boob in sight. Unfortunately, that is not the case. This isn’t a bra. This is a dress. And there’s side-boob galore. It doesn’t fit!
It is so painfully obvious to me that the damn bodice doesn’t fit properly, and yet everyone has their respective panties/boxer shorts/briefs in a bunch over this, shouting discrimination from the rooftops!
“Small busted girls didn’t have to cover up!”

Well no shit, Sherlock. Because small busted girls wouldn’t have cleavage like that on display. The dress code states no cleavage. Rules is rules, ya dig?

Don’t get me wrong, I get it. I’m a 34FF/32G on a good day, and I truly understand the woes of dressing a larger-chested figure. Sometimes it can be a hassle. Sometimes it can be expensive. But you know what? I make it work. There are so many blogs out there nowadays that outline places to shop that cater to a large busted woman. There are tailoring options galore. There are options. All one has to do is seek them out.
I understand that at 34FF/32G, I can not wear the same teeny tiny tops that my smaller busted 34B (though I’d reckon she’s actually more of a 32DD 😉 ) best friend can wear. And you know what? I ain’t mad. I don’t go around screaming indignantly of discrimination when flowy low-cut tops look chic on her, and downright indecent on me. And while I support a person’s right to wear what they choose, when you’re 18 years old and in high-school, the rules still apply to you! Until you graduate, you follow the damn rules. After you graduate, I don’t care if you do cartwheels in your prom dress on the front lawn of the school. Go on with your bad self, girl.

But until then? Quit calling discrimination and start calling it what it is: it doesn’t fit your body. Tailor it, make it work, or find something else. There is actual discrimination happening in this world, so quit whining about your prom dress and wise up.

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13 thoughts on “Calling Shenanigans On “Discrimination””

  1. I agree. I also really wanted to support this young woman, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off about the story. You’ve expressed my misgivings so well. Essentially, there are just so many other styles of dresses she could have worn.

    This isn’t about slut-shaming (luckily, I haven’t seen any comments in that vein yet, although I’m sure they’re out there) and it’s also not body-snarking. It’s as simple as this: while this outfit is fine for her to wear in any other part of her life, it went against the rules set by her school for this dance. I’m not saying I support all school dress codes rules, but there’s a lesson to be learned about when it’s just simpler to stay within the lines. This comes from someone who had a steep learning curve when it came to dressing professionally for an office setting.

    I’m sure it was embarrassing for her to have to deal with this in public, and I hope everyone involved was respectful. But putting on a shawl and moving on with the night doesn’t sound like such a bad deal.

  2. She’s a beautiful girl and it is a beautiful dress, but as you said, rules are rules. I think it would have been a little different if she were barred from the dance, but if she was allowed to attend, then no big deal. Frankly, this dress (and cleavage) is mild compared to what some of the girls at my school wore to dances. Cutouts, very short skirts, midriff-bearing, slits up the hip. I’m not slut-shaming by mentioning that; merely pointing out that my school didn’t really have any dress codes for dances.And I do think that teenagers, especially those 16 and under, and children and there is a certain level of inappropriateness that comes with allowing your 15-year-old to attend her freshmen homecoming in a low-cut, midriff-bearing dress. I saw it a lot.

    As a side note, as a wearer of a 30A bra, I wonder what it’s like to have cleavage. :p

  3. Reblogged this on Bras2U and commented:
    Warning Curves Ahead- Correct! Ill fitting bras cause more hassle than they’re worth! Get your bra / dress fitted properly for your shape and size!

  4. As teacher and fellow busty gal I go over and over dress code with my students (all girls) until I am blue in my face. When they tell me I don’t understand, I point out the numerous camisoles and tank tops that I wear to school. Yes there are smaller chested women at my work who get away with wearing lower cut shirts to work, but they aren’t endanger of having a wardrobe malfunction if they bend over.

    I do wish that along with sex-ed they received bra-ed.

    Thank you for so graceful saying what I was thinking.

    Sincerely,

    Ms. Rose (38F)

    1. Thank you for your kind words! I have to admit, when I was a teenager four score and seven years ago, I too felt bullied and discriminated against. The system was trying to “keep me down” so to speak. As I’ve grown older and wiser, I’ve learned differently. I can only hope it will be the case for all teenage girls!

  5. Okay, i get it. she has copious amounts of cleavage which I can see could have more covered up. However, being a big big busted girl 36hh/j, I can totally understand why this girl is calling discrimination. Lets be real it is almost if not IMPOSSIBLE to find a prom dress that would make her have no cleavage like her small busted classmates. So the issue here is she attracts more attention. Maybe I’m a bit biased since I was singled out in high school by every teacher and the principle. I would wear less revealing shirts that my classmates but I got “picked” on constantly. And quess by who? That’s right ALL FEMALE teachers and principles. I should have just worn gym clothes to school since that’s what I always ended up leaving school in. I mean there where small busted girl wearing tight fitted shirts with midriffs and a stripe of see through material going vertical down the middles of the front. Yup showing between their breasts and showing their abdominal area. Along with heels and shorty shorts which might as well have been bathing suit bottoms. I was a size 3/5 at the time with 32/34 ddd/e boobs. And I still didnt come to school dressed like that ( my mom was super conservative) I didn’t even own clothes that showed cleavage. But somehow someway I always got in trouble. I ended up getting suspended for telling my principal Fudge you(only I didn’t say fudge). She grabbed my arm and yanked me literally, all because I was wearing a drape cowl neck stripped shirt and I bent over to fix my shoe and she could see down my shirt. when I was standing there was absolutely no cleavage no mid drift. Needless to say I was at my wits end! I ended up transferring schools after that.

    1. I can definitely understand your frustration, and I feel for you. (Also, I’m sorry that happened to you in highschool, holy crap! My mother would have raised hell if a teacher ever put their hands on me!)
      The issue I have with this particular prom-dress scenario is that sure, there won’t be a way for her to have NO cleavage in any given outfit, but had the top of her dress been properly fitting/altered to fit her bust, perhaps it wouldn’t have been quite so “on show” (so to speak). The resources for bust-friendly clothing/dresses are out there. It’s more difficult, yes, but they exist.

  6. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this. When I first read the article, from another source, it didn’t sit well with me. Frankly, because I thought the dress didn’t look good on her. Now I realize I felt that way because it doesn’t fit right on her. Her parents let her go all the way to Canada for a dress, but couldn’t get her a properly fitted one? Yeah, sorry, she has no one to blame but herself.

    1. The whole situation has me frustrated. People in America are so quick to flag a situation as discriminatory, and nobody wants to take responsibility for their actions. This is the case of a beautiful girl and a bad dress, nothing more.

  7. Its so frustrating that people can kick up such a fuss about nothing, really its not like they stopped her from going totally or sent her home to get changed.
    A shawl would not have changed this dress very much and I but she hitched it back while dancing.

    If you travel afar for ‘that one dress’ then you would of taken note at the fitting how the dress went on the back to ensure correct support also rearrange yourself into the dress (as any one with bigger boobs knows you can just put on a dress with out some maneuvering to ensure they look right with the clothing cut), the dress may have looked so much better in the store but unless done up correctly and position in the same way you spoil the shape and get the problem of the photo above.

    I hope nothing comes about from this moan that has publicly been made, but someone has stamped their foot and shouted its not fair so the school will be portrayed to be in the wrong. Instead of fair institute that reacted to ensure a poor fitting dress that did not meet the school rules was adapted quickly and the pupil still got the enjoyment of her Prom.

  8. I agree the dress gives her quadboob, but I do think it’s really unfair. The dress code in general. I wrote a post on it so I’m not going to copy that here, but I was bullied horriffically at school because we had a uniform and what looked ‘modest’ on the other girls looked obscene on me due to my boobs and I ended up getting physically and emotionally abused by the other kids and with an anxiety disorder.

    Subsequently, I am against anything that tells someone what they can or cannot wear. Providing her outfit isn’t offensive (and it isn’t, it’s just a bit of boob) I really don’t see the problem

  9. ” There is actual discrimination happening in this world, so quit whining about your prom dress and wise up.”

    This perfectly sums it all up. When you see the comments her and her parents have made it just seems like they went into it knowing it would happen and wanting attention and a big deal to be made.
    School dress code rules suck, but they were clearly stated and she could have found something that fit within them.

    This isn’t an issue of ongoing harassment or bullying through the school year (nowhere does it state that as happening). It isn’t an issue about whether the dress code is good or not (or even fair). It boils down to her and her parents willfully not following a clearly stated (and not ambiguous) rule and then crying discrimination when the rules were followed.

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